One of the difficulties with having OCD is that it has completely destroyed my sense of who I am; my self-identity. Before it reared its ugly head I saw myself as a very kind, helpful, hard-working individual. Now, this self-defined character of being caring has gone out the window, particularly in the light of intense thoughts of harming other people.
At the moment, I'm just tired. Exhausted when I work, tired when I rest. There is no rest with this. My mind feels utterly chaotic and I struggle to maintain control over my thoughts. Losing control is what I'm afraid of. It's a scary notion.
It seemed so easy for me when I was this, somewhat arrogant, individual who defined himself as a 'people-person', able to care deeply for others. I don't know what the Bible has to say about self-identity - only how God sees us in Jesus Christ. The thing is, I'm not sure that many followers of Jesus define themselves, in reality, by what Scripture says about them. Do many people really believe they are bad enough to need salvation?
"Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household...And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit. (Ephesians: 2: 19,22; NIV)
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